Resolutions and Goals for 2009

*Run the Clearlake Triathalon in August. Sprint Triathlon 750m Swim / 20k Bike / 5k Run

*Read a book a month.

*Be mindful. LIVE each day.

*Camping trip at least 1x this summer.

*Make one new friend.

I may add to this list......

2009

A rather different approach to planning for 2009

As I plan for 2009 and reflect on all that happened in 2008, I realize that there are several things I was tolerating in 2008 which will not be a part of my 2009.

You may choose to call this "adhering to boundaries" or "acknowledging and eliminating pet peeves", I simply refer to it as clearing space.

After all, if my energy isn't being drained by the things which take, rather than nourish, there's more space for those things which I want to attract.

Here's a partial list of those things (and people) which (who) won't be coming with me into the New Year (warning, this isn't for the faint-hearted):

*Companies who don't know the meaning of customer service or who retain employees who don't believe in it (I'm boycotting).

*Negative Nellies (I wish them well and would gleefully welcome them back into my life if they could display some optimism).

*Worry & Stress. Although I know that to some degree a small bit of each are normal and healthy, I often let my emotions get the best of me...so 2009 will be the year I try to calm, relax and think with a clear head at least 90% of the time :)

This is about respecting my time, energy and "self" -- after all, those things we tolerate have a way of taking over and affecting our creativity, ability to manifest and general well-being. And my family, friends, and people I work with, deserve the best me I can give them.

Please leave me a comment and let me know what you were tolerating in 2008 and how your 2009 will be different -- And remember, YOU control your environment -- no one else.

Two Kinds of People.

Those who are Lifters

There are two kinds of people on earth today;
Just two kinds of people, no more, I say.

Not the sinner and saint, for it's well understood,
That the good are half-bad and the bad half-good.

Not the rich and the poor, for to rate a man's wealth,
You must first know the state of his conscience and health.

Not the humble and proud, for in life's little span,
Who puts on vain airs, is not counted a man.

Not that happy and sad, for the swift flying years
Bring each man his laughter and each man his tears.

No; the two kinds of people on earth I mean,
Are the people who lift, and the people who lean.

Wherever you go, you will find in earth's masses,
Are always divided in just these two classes.

And oddly enough, you will find too, I ween,
There's only one lifter to twenty who lean.

In which class are you? Are you easing the load,
Of overtaxed lifters, who toil down the road?
Or are you a leaner, who lets others share
Your portion of labor, and worry and care?

What do you really Need????

I have been slightly depressed but mostly angry at how commercial and materialistic Christmas has become. OK, who am I kidding it has been this way for all of my life! It hit me hard this year though, as I was wondering aimlessly through the mall trying to purchase gifts for my family. Most people I know have everything they "need" and most of the things they "want". Yes I love giving gifts to people, but I often feel like I'm just buying people one more thing that will sit on a shelf to collect dust.

I think with the economy on the downturn and many people facing financial problems due to too much debt etc., pretty soon people have got to realize that they need to change and deal with the reality of what really matters.

Along with that I think people need to face the spiritual crisis of figuring out who they are and who they choose to be. Our spending and greed for material things that we think will define us really should be put in check. We have a wake-up opportunity to get real and be real with each other by finding ways to show love, give love, be love without spending a lot of money! It's a chance for us to look beneath the surface, into the culture of excessive more, more, more.

We need to shift the way we think about our lives. We may need to search deeply to recognize what matters. Think about it - what would it take to make YOU happy??? Most people don't know what to say...they forge an answer about family and friends, and yet their lives are about everything else.

Everything in life has meaning. The bigger the fall the greater the lesson. Think deeply today - what is the most important thing to you and how can you make changes to put your priorites in check????

Another Friday!

Today is Friday, and the end of another work week for me. It got me to thinking about how many people in the world, just live each day thinking or dreaming of another....waiting, hoping, wishing to be somewhere else, or just dredging through there day not really listening or hearing or thinking about anything.

I know myself I have been stuck in this rut many times before of just getting by. Just passing time. Personally I feel this is no way to live life. Life is meant to be enjoyed and every moment, every connection, every feeling cherished and felt.

I am guilty of often trying to turn myself off and to go through my day numb - because I am an extremely emotionally charged person. Someone who feels happiness to the greatest magnitude out of a tiny gesture. Someone who feels love all encompassing from a hug or a smile or a message of a loved one. I think to truly live - you must have and feel all emotion - happiness, sadness, love etc. But sometimes I find my emotional being to be too much. I love hard but I hurt hard. I can go from truly happy to truly hateful in 5 seconds. Sometimes at the end of the day - I lay in bed feeling like I have run a marathon and have nothing left. Absolutely exhausted and drained because of all that I feel and think.

I wish I could find balance within myself - but would that be changing who I am???? Maybe I am the lucky one, the person who feels so much.....I know a lot of people who just don't have that, or have it but in a negative way. I know the answer to all this is loving myself and feeling balance within, because then I would be able to experience and feel all that I need to without having the emotional drain that it causes me now.

But that leads into another question. How do you find balance within? How do you love yourself? This is something I struggle with....and it partly has to do with body issues I have had since I was very young. I'm working on it - and although it's still a work in progress, I am much closer to being able to completely love myself.....

And isn't that the ultimate goal, to love yourself and spread love and kindness to others....that is beyond everything else the way that I want to approach each day.

Sooo my new personal mantra:

Live with Passion
Love Deeply
Laugh Often

Marley & Me

I just wanted to take a second to review the book Marley & Me. I read it this week and have about 2 chapters left. I couldn't bring myself to read the last chapters last night before I went to bed, because ultimately I know how it ends and I didn't want to cry myself to sleep :)

Perhaps it is because I am recently married and we have a year old labrador retriever that I enjoyed John Grogan’s story of life and love. Grogan takes you through the first fifteen years of his marriage by focusing on the events of their yellow lab, Marley. Overall, the story of the “world’s worst dog” was very enjoyable.

I wonder whether or not you need to be a dog lover to enjoy the book. I hesitate to say no, because it has a similar feel to Old Yeller or any other story focused around a dog.

The book caused me to laugh several times, and brought me to tears a couple of times and I know that the ending will for sure.

I'm excited to see the movie out this christmas....Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston -it looks like a good family movie.

I only hope that I get to enjoy 13+ years with my Lab - Dutchess.

Energy Vampires...

Ahhhhh the Engery Vampire....we all know one. And at this time of year, when people are stressed to the max and lacking energy as it is...well it's good to think about where you are spending your energy.

(Ok this is Edward from Twilight - who is definately not an "energy vampire" but super hot.

Some people bring unexpected lightness and comfort to your life. They crackle with energy, practically electrify you with their presence. And then there are those who leave you feeling stressed out. Or guilty. Or exhausted down to your very last molecule. I call them energy vampires, and obnoxious or meek, they come in all forms. The sob sister, for one, always considers herself the victim. The world is always against her, and she'll recount every horrible thing that has happened to her, wallowing in every perceived slight. The charmer is a constant talker or joke-teller who has to be the center of attention. The blamer, on the other hand, doles out endless servings of guilt. And then there's the drama queen, the co-worker who claims she almost died from a high fever or the neighbor who lives in extremes of emotion—life is unbelievably good or horrifically bad.

No matter which type of energy vampire you're dealing with, you're allowed to walk away. Many of us find this really hard to do. We're afraid of being thought of as impolite; we don't want to offend people. But there are plenty of ways to remove yourself from a killing conversation. When leaving isn't an option, you can still maintain your energy level by making a few minor adjustments.

Recognize the Signs

One of the first things to do is to recognize when you're being drained, and that begins with tuning in to your physical reactions. Is there a tightening in your chest when a certain person enters the conversation? Do you feel tired when you hang up the phone after speaking with someone? Does your head ache, or do you feel what I call "slimed" when another guest at a cocktail party starts talking to you?

Take a Deep Breath

The moment you feel zapped—or hemmed in, or stressed out—I recommend taking a breath. Breathing is a wonderful way to center yourself. Just follow the breath and tell yourself that you know what's happening and you can deal with it. It's important to remember our individual power. I know from working with patients that we can lose it easily. The minute somebody comes in who's bossy or blaming, we feel diminished and tense up. If we can focus on the breath, or on an image of a striking sunset or a view from a mountaintop, the tension will drift away.

Use Your Energy

You can also use some of your own subtle energy to counter the effects of an energy vampire. Visualize a protective white light around you: an energy shield. You can still hear the person who's yelling at you or blaming you or pushing herself into your sphere, but she won't cut into you so viscerally anymore. You've created a buffer zone, where her negative influences can dissipate.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is another way of protecting yourself; you draw a line saying, for instance, "This is what I can do for you, and this is what I can't." You don't have to convince the vampire of the rightness of your stance. Getting defensive simply adds to the negative charge of the encounter. You want to remain neutral. When someone starts pushing your buttons, and you start sizzling inside, you've got to make the decision not to react.

Step Back

I also suggest you step back and think about what type of people aggravate you, because I believe that one law of energy is that we attract what we haven't yet worked out in ourselves. If I'm a very angry person, I'll find myself surrounded by angry people. By paying attention to the people who seem so draining, you might discover something you need to address. It has been my experience that once you've worked through a particular issue, you're no longer worn out by that kind of energy vampire. And the vampires, robbed of a source, move on to more easily drainable audiences.

Sometimes...

"It's been said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is what might have been ? But what of the man who's faced with what was? Or what may never be? Or what can no longer be? Choosing the right path is never easy. It's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes we find our way to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice and our jealously and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be. And that's when we find our way to something better or something better finds its way to us."

“Because sometimes, you have to step outside the person you've been. And remember the person you were ment to be, the person you want to be, the person you are.”

Companionship

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mothers

..then buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want

...then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

..then buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

..then buy a dog !

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually

..then buy a dog.

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness . .

..then buy a cat!

Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say... marry a man, didn't you?

The 3 L's

"Love it, leave it or lead it."

I love this concept. Going through life following this motto just makes sense to me. When faced with a problem, allow these threw options and only these three.

"Love it" means peacefully accept whatever's happening. If that's not possible, you may be able to "leave it", simply walk away from the whole dilemma. The third option, "lead it" requires that you recognize and use whatever power you have (even if you feel helpless). If you can't devise a solution on your own, you must "lead" your helpers by asking clear, purposeful questions and taking good advice when you get it.

If you Only...

If you only had one night to live, who would you spend it with????

Had to Share....

I had to share this - I find them funny and some are VERY true....

Lisa Kogan Tells All: How You (Yes, You!) Should Live Your Life
(for the full article see:
http://www.oprah.com/article/spirit/omag_200803_kogan/1

Everything I know about the world and how you (yes, you!) should live your life:

1. If you can't get a babysitter, for the love of God, stay home! I don't want to be sitting next to little Charlotte and Duncan as they fight over a Raisinet at the midnight screening of Atonement. You wanted kids, so suck it up, walk it off, subscribe to Netflix.

2. If your outgoing phone message is longer than, let's say, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian of the Year segment of the Oscars, it's time to rerecord.

3. Calling to let your friend know you're running late does not excuse your constantly running late.

4. I'd like to say a few words to every crabby traveler who responds with disgust whenever a baby cries on an airplane. Perhaps you don't know how babies work, but there's been a study, and it turns out that giving a 4-month-old the stink eye doesn't actually accomplish anything. Either have a little compassion or a little Ambien.

5. Here's something for any gentleman who may be reading this: If you look good in a Speedo, you will look even better in virtually any other kind of swimsuit.

6. I am a cynic. I am a pessimist. I came of age with the Watergate hearings playing on the tiny TV in our avocado green kitchen. But every four years I wrestle my apathy into submission, read up on the issues, and cast my ballot. You must vote. I don't care who you vote for (that's not really true—I think you should be penciling in my name), but you've gotta get in the game.

7. One word: Floss.

8. Any man who begins a conversation with, "I don't want to hurt your feelings…" is about to hurt your feelings. It's the kind of phrase that's never followed by, "…but I just don't think you're eating enough. Please have more lasagna while I get you a brownie." Other opening gambits that pretty much scream duck-and-cover include: "Don't take this the wrong way…," "You can feel free to say no…," and the always popular "Look…"

9. Enough with celeb gossip. The problems of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears should not be competing for the headline space in our brains. We have to be smarter than that, and if we're not, we have to pretend that we are.

10. Get so excellent at something (long division, friendship, Parcheesi, removing cranberry juice stains, decoupage—it doesn't matter what) that your genius will be impossible to ignore and your legendary expertise at removing cranberry juice stains while dividing six-digit numbers by 37 will either bring you glory beyond your wildest dreams or, at the very least, help you feel vaguely competent as you make your way through the world.

11. Allow me to demystify the entire real estate market for you: Gracious means ridiculously small. Quaint means a total wreck and ridiculously small. Spacious, airy, luxurious, and grand all mean ridiculously small.

12. I like a plastic bag and a bottle of water as much as the next self-involved me monkey, but it takes 430,000 gallons of oil to manufacture 100 million grocery bags, and if I were capable of doing even the most basic arithmetic I'd say—well, who are we kidding? I'm not capable of doing even the most basic arithmetic—just know that we're in great danger of making Al Gore really, really mad.

13. Words matter. It's time to stop prettifying the ugly stuff. Spousal abuse means wife beating. Global warming means the Earth is toast. Enhanced interrogation means torture. And here's a bit of trivia for you: The Bush administration did not coin the phrase enhanced interrogation. Nor did it come from Jack Bauer on 24. Nope, it was the Gestapo that originated that little bon mot back in 1937.

14. To quote Elmer Fudd, "Be bwave, widdoe wabbit." Take a chance, wear your heart on your sleeve, ask the most attractive man in the room to dance, say what you want, demand what you're entitled to. There's a pretty decent chance that you won't get it, but who will you be if you never even try? Note: Only attempt the dance invitation if there's actual music playing.

15. Sometimes I worry that we've all become workaholics—because getting through life can be really hard work. But (with apologies to the fine people who pay my salary every week here at the fabulous Hearst Corporation) we need to log off, go home, and remember what it is to have dinner, conversation, and sex…not necessarily in that order.

Learning to appreciate...

My heart is hurting a little bit right now (in a good way :)

Where I work we have 12 Filipino workers that recently immigrated from the Philippines.
11 of them came over in April 2008. 3 of the 11 have finally received their permanent residence status and will be joined by their families next week. The joy on their faces when I talk to them is just the most wonderful thing.... Can you imagine being apart from your loved ones for 6 months?? Thinking about the other guys whose families are still in the Philippines and the fact that they don't know exactly how much longer they will be apart breaks my heart! I think that demonstrates ultimate love, they are willing to go to an unknown country alone - in search for a better life for their families.

Also with Remembrance Day around the corner I have been thinking alot about the wars going on in the middle east. I am VERY happy that Obama was elected as President. I hope that he will help the US....it will be a long lonely road I'm sure, as he has his work cut out for him. I was listening to Howard Stern this morning and he was talking about if he was Obama that he would be phoning Bill Clinton and asking his advice. I kinda agree. Clinton may not have excelled at exercising self restraint ;) - but I believe he was a good President. Make sure to take a moment to remember all of the fallen soldiers and what they were fighting for.... Freedom is an amazing thing... and I am truly happy to be Canadian and lucky to live the way I do! How often do we take that for granted!!!!

Please watch this video....

Great song...

I love this song and wanted to share the lyrics...


Thriving Ivory - Angels on the Moon

Do you dream, that the world will know your name
So tell me your name
Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe?
Do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, to all of us

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know, No I don't wanna know

Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying

Why Can't I Live my Life for me...

Everyone wears masks.

Not just today, but every day.

We hide our true feelings. We tamp down our preferences. We sequester our opinions. We shunt aside who we really are.

We do it to be accepted. We do it to be admired. We do it to be rewarded. We do it to fit in.

We do it to be loved.

I realized I loved my husband (long before I married him) when I realized I wasn't pretending to be someone I wasn't and he loved me anyway.

I realized that I, as a person, as an individual, as someone different and unique and quirky, was worthy of affection and caring.

I need to be the lead role in my life. I want to take off the mask. I want to show who I really am. Revealing my thoughts and speaking my mind. There are only a few situations or people that I do that with now, I want that in ever facet of my life.

I need to Perform a striptease of my soul.

I think everybody is just like me. Maybe not exactly. Not precisely. But most of us have the same values, the same dreams (but with different specifics, of course), the same fears. We want health. We want security. We want companionship (and also want independence and sometimes some solitude). We want love. We want freedom. We want to be who and what we are.

Happy Halloween - even though I'm not participating this year!

Letting Go...

Letting go is one of the things I need to work on the most in my life. I have a tough time letting go and have some control issues.

The Prayer for Serenity should be my guide.

God, grant me serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardships as a pathway to peace
taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it,
trusting that You will make all things right
if I surrender to Your will.
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with You forever
in the next.
Amen

Now I'm not a really religious person but I do believe in a higher power, something greater than us....

I came across this article and had to share it...

An Affirmation for Letting Go
Larry James

I am willing to trust. I know that to the degree I am willing to give up my search for a healthy love relationship, I can have it. I know I can have whatever I am ready and willing to receive. Individual receptivity is everything. Without it, nothing changes. With it, all things are possible. I no longer insist upon my choice.

I know that the only thing I lose when I let go of something I am afraid to live without is the fear itself. I am stronger than anything that frightens me!

I let go of the past, and I am free to think clearly and positively in the present. I am not my past.

Letting go is the natural release which always follows the realization that holding on is an energy drain and it hurts. Letting go happens effortlessly when there is no other choice. Letting go does not mean giving up.

LoveNote. . . A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth -- with the fire dead, the laughter stilled, and the light extinguished. - Frank P. Tebbetts

Letting go is a journey that never ends. Never. It only begins -- over and over again -- each time I can glimpse something higher than my own painful certainty over who I think I am. There is always something higher; a life beyond the limits of my present sight.

To see what is farther I must be willing to lift my eyes from their present point of focus. Release always follows revelation and real revelation is always a glimpse of something that was only just out of sight.

I know that stress in my love relationship exists because I insist! What I resist, persists. I am tied to whatever I avoid.

LoveNote. . . The heart loves, but moods have no loyalty. Moods should be heard but never danced to. - Hugh Prather

It is a mistaken belief that I must push my love relationship in the direction I choose that keeps me in a strained and unhappy relationship with it. Reality has its own effortless course, and I can either embrace its way or struggle endlessly with mine.

I do not need power to flow.

I let go of that part of myself that is certain it is better to suffer and feel like someone than it is to just let go and quietly be no one. I give birth to a new me that never has to hold on to anything because it is already everything.

I dare to walk away from all of the familiar but useless mental and emotional relationships that give me a temporary but unsatisfactory sense of self. My true identity is calling me and to hear it I must be willing to endure, for as long as necessary, the fear of self-uncertainty.

This form of seeming self-abandonment eventually turns into my greatest pleasure as it becomes increasingly evident that the only thing certain about fear is that it will always compromise me. When it comes to who I really am, there is no compromise.

Let go of the past. The past is yesterday. It is irretrievable. When you relate to the past, you relate to no one or any thing. You are literally talking to yourself. No one else is listening. You have already heard all you have to say about that, so, let go.

A Course in Miracles says, "You cannot really not let go what has already gone. It must be, therefore, that you are maintaining the illusion that it has not gone because you think it serves some purpose that you want fulfilled."

It is certifiable insanity to conjure up your own reality based on the past and relate to it, rather than to relate to the present which is the only reality.

LoveNote. . . Relationships are part of a vast plan for our enlightenment, the Holy Spirit's blueprint by which each individual soul is led to greater awareness and expanded love. Relationships are the Holy Spirit's laboratories in which he brings together people who have the maximal opportunity for mutual growth. - Marianne Williamson

I say goodbye to the past and hello to the present.

I am enthusiastic about who I am becoming! I know that no one sincerely asks for a new life until they are thoroughly dissatisfied with the old one. I am and I let go. When I allow myself to let go of what is old, I stay true to what is new.

I believe that as with all insight, higher understanding itself contains not only the instructions I must follow, but the strength I will need to carry them out.

Starting life over again is the key to a new me. I see the beauty and significance of starting over - over and over and over. Every present moment is always new and new is always right now! The new dies to the ever-new in an endless celebration of Life.

This is it!

I live in the present. I never let the past dictate the direction of the present moment. I give my best to my endeavors.

What lies ahead for me can only be good.

True peace and harmony are a part of who I am.

I have come to the realization that what is possible for me to become only truly changes when I am willing to see what is impossible for me to continue being.

My true nature is already fully independent and flying freely. I have found my wings.

I let go and let God. And so it is.

LoveNote. . . He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is Love. - I John 4:8

A Poem...

Broken Glass
Darkness surrounds me
Wishing to be anywhere but here
Wanting to be anyone but myself

The reflection within scares me
Rocks me, Shakes me to the core.
I want to forget, I want to stop
But it finds me again

Never letting go
Rough and Raging
Terrified but comfortable, we sit and talk
Old Friends

I know that I am more powerful
That I could end this
But I let it take control
Because what I see in the mirror frightens me more

The Top 20 Things Oprah Knows for Sure

I had to share this article by Oprah ....



Since the day the late Gene Siskel asked me, "What do you know for sure?" and I got all flustered and started stuttering and couldn't come up with an answer, I've never stopped asking myself that question. And every month I must find yet another answer. Some months I feel I hardly know a thing, and I'm always pressed to make the deadline for this column. This time around, in honor of our tribute to the subject, I looked back and came up with my all-time top 20:

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always." (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

Life isn't about how to survive the storm ; but learning to dance in the rain...

Life from time to time seems to bring storms our way. These storms might be anything from financial problems, marital problems or a testing of our faith. These storms sometime are mild reminders that life can change just as easy as a breeze can turn into a full gale. Sometimes these storms pull up by the roots beliefs or ideas about life and faith that one may have.

At any rate, each storm bring on trials. Testing where you must trust that whatever has happened: has happened for a purpose. When the storm comes, we immediately want to retreat from it. We hide ourselves looking for a safe place until the storm has passed. This is human instinct.

But what if? What if we decided to embrace the storm and learn the rhythm of the rolling thunder, wind and lighting? What if we lift our hands toward the clouds and begin to praise our common Creator? Begin to seek out a higher power as our dance partner and place ourselves into that embrace, abandoning our fears and trusting that it will guide us through the storm .

If we were to practice this dance over and over, would we then run toward the sound of the thunder and begin to look forward to the dance that would bring us closer to something bigger than us??

I for one have not yet learned how to abandon all fears when the storms come; but I am learning. I may not begin to dance at the beginning of the storm; but at some point, I trust in the process and something bigger than all of us. When I do the rain is more gentle and tastes sweeter and I wonder why did I struggle.

Instead of struggling and asking why is life so hard...embrace life and all of the things that come and accept that we are a part of it all...

Internal Struggle...

In self-examination I often wonder what it all means. Sometimes I find myself at wits end just trying to figure out why I do or think the things I do, feel the things I feel or think I feel...when there may be no rhyme or reason at the time.

Sometimes chosen paths collide at points were we begin to learn, maybe it's because it's something we needed to learn and figuring out the reason we did it or how we handled it, may in fact be the real challenge. Happiness is a test we put ourselves through, for some point unknown to us, attitude we make ourselves. I now know that I can't find what I need in others before I was able to find it in myself, no one can give me, me...they can shape me and compel or even perhaps complete me but I can't make this happen, as we all are the same confused children.

The wants and needs of many outweigh the needs of the few, a poem I wrote long ago when I thought I knew what it meant. This too has changed its shape to me because I now see the self importance of people and how it changes their perspective towards others. We are all the same and there are no borders between us, all emotionally challenged, crippled if you will we struggle to see the next days sun and try to find the answers with questions.

The other day I struck out in a new path, not really new but while going down the path I found some new answers to some old questions. Is it because I’m getting older that the answers change or is it perspective from age…or is it anything at all but my mind slowly slipping. I felt foolish I felt stupid I felt I had led myself astray from the beliefs I cling too but because I am a woman because I am an animal I am my worst judge and sometimes I should learn to separate consciousness from my reality.

Reassurance of our being of our value of us is in that meaning somewhere, and sometimes I believe we lose that in ourselves if it’s not reinforced by someone, somehow or another but I surely don’t think it’s something we can do alone. Life is truly a battle that we wage each and every min of every day unbenounced to us for no reason at all, a worry. Stress worry and belief, things we carry around our necks like so much of a burden that we may not deserve but cannot cast off. The delicate balance of knowledge and compassion we find for others but never for ourselves we reach out for others to share our pain and to understand us, in fact we scream for it.

Trapped inside ourselves unable to express our needs...is this because we don’t even know what our needs may be? What makes it alright or makes us want to know is a deep question we each must ask ourselves. Why others can see the same things we see but be unable to share with us the common experience is a mystery and I believe it may be due to self-importance. It’s a thing that separates us and causes most of our grief and pain, it’s the reason for war and hate its what divides us and stops us from growing or learning what we must share. Children do not have this and can interact in a manner that surpasses our intellect in many ways. They don’t have the ability to judge or self examine and to their glory it enables truth and goodness something we lose along the way.

The Name Campaign...

I wanted to share something which my sister inspired me to do...

It's an amazing initiative that I recently decided to support and purchased a name tag.

My sister Tamara's words:
"I love this campaign from a marketing angle, because it's a brilliant way to spread the word about a genocide that otherwise goes unnoticed in North America, and also because it goes to show how much the human spirit can contribute with something as small as a dog tag.

Currently, in the last five years in a Northern part of Uganda, there have been over twenty thousand children kidnapped from their homes and forced into a life of violence

My child's name is Zaddox. He was 15 when he was kidnapped, from Northern Uganda. For $12, you can have a child's story to tell. Share the awareness -- www.thenamecampaign.org "

So what are you waiting for???? Even if you don't support this initiate do something today for the greater good. It's amazing what even a small smile to a complete stranger can mean....

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes....

How do you change??

Change is what happens when the pain of staying the same is too great. The moment we can't "take it anymore" is the moment we start giving and transforming. I'm there right now and ready to make some major changes....and it's all with the goal of improving myself and becoming the best person I can be.

One more unrelated comment this morning...Britney Spears is back, her new song I must admit is really good! I am personally a huge Britney fan from way back and hope that she is getting her life back on track...

Words to live by...

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3 Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Realizations...

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Well I have come to many realizations in the past few days. The biggest one...I have the greatest family and support system in the world. I've been struggling with some things and wasn't ready to share or open up to anyone.....and then I talked with my sister and they all just came spilling out and the support and love I get from her - well it's overwhelming and makes me the luckiest girl in the world.

It's weird how sometimes when you feel down and out, you don't want to reach out to the people you know love you and will help you.

I have finally admitted a few things to myself that I have been hiding from for quite some time, and it feels wonderful and liberating to rid myself of that....now I'm ready to move on and forward - even if it is only baby steps!

Here is some more realizations from this week:
1. I make a lot of messes, all the time, every day.
2. In and of myself, i am super selfish and self-centered.
3. Everything in this life is temporary.
4. Compared to a lot of people, my life is absolutely amazing and i should have nothing to complain about, yet i am not nearly thankful enough.
5. I'm not in control of my life, and when i try to be, it's not a good situation.

Well I think that If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary's. :)

I often wonder why...

I have done a lot of soul searching lately.....and because I have been sick and in bed for a couple days I have had a bunch of time to scower the Internet looking for inspiration....I found this quote and it just makes sense...

“ Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution. ”

So the next time you wonder "why" don't.....just accept there IS a reason and that it's meant to be...

Lazy Saturday

Well I was up early this morning, feeling a bit better and did some much needed cleaning...now I'm just gaming away (The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion) and enjoying a much needed restful Saturday. Still have a bit of a fever but it seems to be going away -yeah for me cause that means Red Wine for tonight :)

Here is my thought for today...

"Dream as if you'll live forever...
live as if you'll die today."

James Dean

Oh Happy Friday

I deleted my last post - I don't like the place I was in when I wrote it and would rather forget why I wrote it....so I'm just going to put the one thought that I did like:

The one beautiful thing about life.....is that no matter where you are in life - YOU have the power to change it and make yourself the person you want to be....

Was just reading my wonderful sister's blog and she brought up the question:
What are we doing here?
I find this so inspiring and overwhelming when I ask myself "What am I doing here?"
For me it's all about love, to love and to be loved. If I could do only one thing in this life - that would be my mission.

I would love to write more and think more on this topic, but my head hurts as I am fighting a violent flu..I'm very glad that it's Friday and that I will have the weekend to rest. I am also excited because my X-Box 360 is set up in my room, and I will be in Oblivion all weekend! :)

Monday on a Tuesday......

I couldn't decide what I wanted to write about today....I have so many thoughts floating through my head - but I think I'm getting the flu and none of them make sense....so I will start with a quote:

"As you give love out, it's received and reciprocated--and it grows. That's the beauty of it. Love is an energy. You can feed it to people, and they in turn feed it to others, and eventually it comes back."
—Hill Harper


If this quote is true how come there are so many Loveless people/relationships out there??? I think just looking at the divorce rate can be proof of that. Or does life just get too tough and people don't know how to cope so they turn away?? I think people need to try harder and love harder in order to make a change to our world.....someone recently told me that life is beautiful and that people are generally good. I'm struggling to accept and believe that in today's world. Isn't that sad????


But if I think of life's miracles my faith is restored.....






For me that one miracle that seems to make everything ok - is babies. Actually kids in generally really. There is something about a helpless and innocent child that just puts the world back into balance. Maybe that means I should have one??? Not anytime soon thank you!!!! As wonderful and lovely as kids are - I love being able to give them back to their mom/dad once they start crying :) Guess that maternal instinct just hasn't kicked in quite yet....It's surprising how many people ask the question "when are you having kids???" after you get married. Does it make me abnormal to not want kids????

Here are some thing that I believe/have learned...let's call them My life lessons:
-I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
-I've learned that no matter how much I care some people just don't care back.
-I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
-I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
-I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but whom you have in your life that counts.
-I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
-I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
-I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
-I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
-I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
-I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
-I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
-I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
-I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And, just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
-I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
-I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, and you will hurt in the process.
-I've learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
-I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.

All You Need is Love...

One of my absolutely favorite songs - All you Need is Love by the Beatles.

I love the movie Across the Universe ..... like all musicals it was at times over the top but overall a great movie.....I love Jim Sturgess who is in the movie -he has an amazing voice.




I wanted to post the lyrics to the song...

There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy
There's nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time
It's easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

There's nothing you can know that can't be known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
No where you can be, that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

Now although I know that is NOT true reality - love can be all you need can't it???
I could take the debate from both sides - but loves means different things to different people.

My new fav song of the moment - The Show by Lenka.....its a great tune. It's about love as well....why do so many artists write about love? Most relatible emotion? Everyone has experienced it?

Have a great Thanksgiving weekend!

When things go wrong don't go with them. ~Elvis Presley

Lifting yourself up and continuing forward...

Does it ever feel like trouble follows you around and won't cut you any slack? Sometimes it feels like you can't buy a break and everything you try just makes things worse. Who could blame you for feeling sorry for yourself or not forgive a little self-destructive behavior? Bad idea. The new, healthy way to spend down times is to lift yourself up and operate at a higher level. Remember that what happens to you is not who you are. It's history. It's past. Your true self takes that history and decides how to make the best possible future out of it. You have the power to keep your attitude and values from driving into the ditch along with the events in your life. From defeat, you can still emerge victorious.

I've had a couple bad days in a row.....but I'm still smiling and trying to keep on keepin on.....Lift myself up and keep moving forward!

Becoming the person you want to be....

To be nobody but yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- EE Cummings, poet.

Becoming the person you want to be.....

Take a look at your priorities and your goals. Where did they come from? Are they the products of soul-searching, self-analysis, and careful planning? Or are they a reaction to pressures from other people? Did you find them within yourself or within the pages of a magazine? The answers to these questions are important because they tell you if the person you're becoming is someone you want to be.

Here's another way to look at a goal: do you want it, or do you just think you should want it? It's not easy to follow your own direction in life. But it's more possible than you may think. Question everything. Every priority in your life needs to justify why it's there. If you can't come up with a good reason that actually comes from YOU, maybe it doesn't belong.

I struggle with becoming the person I want to be....some days I feel like I get it and my life is on track, the next I feel like a little girl lost in a big world. My comfort comes from a loving family who helps me along the way. My mom, sister and I have a bond that is amazing, inspiring and very special. Our bond isn't unusual but I don't think there are many people that are as lucky as we are to have such a special relationship.

I know this is all in part to the fact that our mother raised us the way she did and that her mother raised her the way she did. Today is my Grandma's birthday - which makes me think of her and smile but have a heavy heart because she passed away over 4 years ago. Her beautiful soul touched any one she met and some of my fondest memories are cooking with her as a child.

I know she is looking down on me and my family now......and thinking
OH BUT..... ;)

I care to much....

Lately I am realzing that I care too much about things that really don't matter in the journey we call life....

I care what everyone else thinks of me, and I tend to stress out due to it....I found this interesting quote:

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” John Wooden

It's all a matter of perception really....but what if deep down you can't define your character?
This is the trap I get into because I tend to be easily influenced by others.

If I had to choose 5 words to describe my character they would be:
Caring, Passionate, Impulsive, Motivated, Independant

I'm not sure if the people close to me would agree, and often times I feel like a walking contradiction because it's ever changing.

Think about yourself today... what words define you???

Great Indeed is our need to Love.....

I saw this quote today - can't remember where and it got me thinking.

What is Love anyways???

Definition from Wikipedia:
Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my girlfriend"). This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

I think most people have been in love - one form or another....my real question is: Is it better to love someone.......or receive love?

And what about those people who are in love with love?? I fall in that category....I am a highly emotional person and am happiest giving, receiving and hearing about love. Just call me a love junkie. I believe one of the most beautiful forms of love is the unconditional love that occurs between mother and child (ok father and child tooo)...and recently I have discovered being a dog owner - the love of a dog for their owner. There is something so sweet, innocent and special about a dogs love for their owner.

Ok - enough about the L-word.... here is a thought from my daily Kabbalah newsletter...

Survival instinct is the most powerful force on Earth, without question. And it's the ego that holds the trophy for the strongest survival instinct of all. The ego doesn't want to die.

Ego wants to keep us all disconnected from peace, love and Light. It wants to keep each of us full of pain, fear and emotional turmoil. It would prefer we be the lamp in the corner covered with drapes of cloth, without even the tiniest bit of Light shining through. That's what it has always wanted - and it is willing to blind us with doubt in an attempt to desperately delay our progress and transformation.

Today, just say no to ego (ie. SAY NO TO YOUR DOUBTS!)

My daily wisdom - Live, Laugh, Love...

Thinking about the New Year?!?!?!

Ok it's approximately 3 months away but the thought of Christmas entered my mind this morning and then the thought of 2009 and all that it will have to offer.

I thought about New years Resolutions and all that I want from 2009.....and my new thinking is why not start now. You don't need to wait for a date to start making changes...new years should be all year long!

Sooo - The New Year is on!

All those wishes and changes and vessel-building — now it's time to start putting my money where my mouth is, so to speak.

Oh boy. We've all make a lot of promises to ourselves before. How do you keep them all?

Baby steps, my friends. Baby steps. That's the name of the game. Slow and gradual.

Today, I'm not going to overwhelm myself with thoughts of how I'm gonna get up that mountain. I'll just start walking. One baby step at a time...

Today is exciting for me - because it's my last day of work this week. I have Friday off which will likely be spent doing some stuff around the house with Kevin (we are finishing our fence, doing some changes/updates before thinking about selling the house). We will also be leaving for Saskatoon which I am WAY excited for. Friday I get to spend chilling with my brothers and my favorite nephew Ryder (ok, my ONLY nephew but you know what I mean :)

Saturday we have a wedding to go to - I have never met the bride or groom but all of Kevin's family will be there and I'm super pumped for that. We always have a good time and I'm sure there will be plenty of laughs and drinking!

That's it for now...here's hoping I can get through the day without "daydreaming" too much :)

Passed along from my best friend...

Here is an article that my sister passed along. As she put it "it is so magical it moved me to tears by the end." I feel the same way....

September, 2008
A Newsletter from Oriah

As many of you know, my sabbatical ends this month. Some of you have been checking in to see what's next. It's been a challenging and rewarding three years. Like most things in life it didn't go as I'd expected. I wasn't surprised to find that inner stillness and silence were intermittent and inconsistent, at times profound and at other times elusive. It was never, as I'd thought it might be, boring. I was disappointed that my health didn't flourish as I'd hoped it would with lots of rest. A relapse of Chronic Fatigue (CFIDS/ME) in the past year has been discouraging although for the first time guilt free since I knew it had not been triggered by my usual over-doing. As my energy levels stabilize a little more each day I am cautiously optimistic about recovery.

The good news is that despite my ever-eager personality and past patterns of drivenness I managed to slow down. I settled into a daily rhythm of slow mornings journaling and reading, and afternoons of cooking large pots of vegetable soup and watching the cardinals at the bird feeder. I loved the daily solitude (Jeff being gone most days from 8 am to 6:30 pm) and often just sat and watched my breath and the world around me for long periods of time. I don't want to paint too idyllic a picture. There have been the usual ups and downs of life, some of them- like my father being diagnosed with Alzheimer's- heartbreaking. But being with whatever comes our way is easier when we aren't hitting the ground running every morning, and the sabbatical's slowness has been a great teacher in being present.

About half way through the sabbatical I spoke with my agent about two new book ideas: a novel about a group of lucid dreamers (the adventures of Isabel mentioned in a previous newsletter) and a non-fiction book about faith based on some of my experiences over the last three years. He was enthused (as you'd want your agent to be) and started to talk about publishing possibilities. But I was still in sabbatical mode, so I said, "Joe, I have to wait for God to say 'Go!'" Joe, being Catholic is not offended by the first "G" word, and being an agent, loves the second. I did do some writing, mostly on the novel, but last January I put it aside. I felt that some kind of internal shift needed to happen before I wrote more. I waited for God- the Beloved, the Mystery, the Great Mother- to say "Go!"

In my defense, I have felt Spirit say "Go!" in the past- as in, "Go, leave your job and teach workshops on spirituality!" or "Go back to university and write this book!" It didn't seem to be too much to expect that I would once again feel guided with some kind of hopefully detailed game plan for the next phase of my life.

But that's not what happened. What happened has been and continues to be a slow and gentle unfolding of self knowledge, awareness and acceptance. It's been like a light on a dimmer switch being turned on very slowly, revealing things in the room that have always been there. I discovered that I am an introvert, an extreme introvert, with a highly developed extrovert function. I can do public speaking and teaching, and I certainly value and even enjoy some aspects of these activities, but they cost me, they take energy.

I discovered that when all else falls away what remains is my writing. I am a lover of stories, of words and the imaginative worlds they evoke. My heart races a little when I begin to read a new book or when I start to write on the first page of a fresh journal. When fear or confusion arise, moving my pen across the page reveals the meaning and the mystery in the life I am living. Writing is my way of praying, of paying attention, of making love to the world, of opening myself to wisdom that is larger than myself. And, being a solitary task, writing suits my introversion well. It does not cost me. It gives me energy. I need to shape my life around my writing. So, as the date for the end of the sabbatical approached, I got ready to launch myself back into writing. I contacted my agent and told him my plans. I set my alarm clock and got geared up to fling myself into eight hours a day of writing as I had done for my earlier books. I had not heard God say "Go!" but the insights about myself seemed sound, the sabbatical was finished, and I felt I could go with what I had- a clear commitment to continue to write.

And twenty-four hours into my new work schedule, I collapsed. It was like those old cartoons where Wylie Coyote goes barreling straight into the side of the mountain where the Roadrunner has painted a picture of a tunnel on solid rock. Whap! Just like Wylie I hit what felt like a stone wall and slid down in a daze with those little stars and birds flying around my head, although in my case it was a four day migraine and fibromyalgia pain. Lying in bed I prayed, and I listened.

And I did not hear the Presence that is always with me say "Go!" I heard, "Move slowly and soften."

And that's what I keep hearing, whenever I pay attention. I have started to read through the work I'd done on the novel. I am also reading the forty journals I filled over the last three years, finding the ends of threads for the nonfiction book. And each time I pause, I hear it again. "Move slowly and soften." So there will be no eight hour days at the keyboard. I am living- moving, reading, writing, cooking, eating- slowly. And I am softening: to the part of me that wants to run and cannot; to the body that is slowly regaining strength and energy; to impatience, frustration and fear when each arises. I will write these books, and it will take whatever time it takes. I will not be traveling while I write, but I cannot say I will never teach a workshop or do a speaking engagement again. I will move slowly and soften to all the possibilities as they arise, following the ones that fit who I am and serve the writing, and letting go of the rest.

I have to smile at my resistance to writing this newsletter I wanted to arrive at the end of the sabbatical with some Big News, some kind of Grand Announcement of the vision I had had that would guide the rest of my life. Well the vision I have had is of continuing to be here writing, remembering (and no doubt forgetting and then hopefully remembering again) to move slowly and soften to myself and the world.

But now that my fingers are moving on the keyboard I find myself asking, what else did I learn in the last three years? And, in this moment, this is what comes:

* That life does not travel in straight lines, does not produce what we think of as clarity according to our preferred time schedule. Life is meandering and messy, full of surprises, confusion and unexpected moments of struggle and beauty.

* That life is short and sweet and hard- too short to wait one more moment to move toward the beauty you love even if it is not what you were taught had "real value" in the world; too sweet to miss the moment that is here by striving to get elsewhere materially or spiritually; too hard too sit in judgment on ourselves or anyone else.

* That absolute certainty about life, ourselves, the world or others may temporarily alleviate some of our immediate anxieties but leaves little room for the mystery and makes it difficult if not impossible to cultivate faith. I think of faith as that indescribable experience of the sacred that buoys us up and lets us greet what comes each day- the uncertainty of life- with open hearts.

* That often we have to be willing to act even without certainty, to let our hearts guide us, to be willing to make mistakes, to do the best we can, and let the rest go.

* That anxiety is a part of every human life, no matter the circumstances or the perspective. That our hopes and ideals of creating an anxiety-free life cause us to judge ourselves and others and to pull away from life as it is, diminishing the small daily pleasures and putting us on an endless and exhausting treadmill of inner and outer self-improvement. That consciously choosing to be with some anxieties as they arise can sometimes prevent the cultivation of others I know to be life-destroying. So, I willingly embrace the twinge of guilt that arises when I disappoint another rather than cultivate the resentment that can grow from trying to live a life according to someone else's ideas of what is good or right for me. I willingly sit with the small anxiety that arises about future finances instead of moving too quickly to agree to work that I know in my body will most likely create illness at this time.

* That my father was wise, when he told me as I was growing up, "Everyone does the best they can with what they have to work with." How I have struggled with this notion, seeing within and around me actions and attitudes I felt could and should be better. And let's fact it: some days our best is not so good, some days we cause a great deal suffering for ourselves and others. But, when I choose the perspective my father advocated it is easier for me to keep my heart open to all of our human frailties. We are all, in this moment, doing the best we can. What is available to any one of us in the next moment- the quantity and quality of information, energy, courage, awareness, trust, and faith we can access- will change, and so too will our best. But in this moment you and I- everyone, is doing the best they can. There is nothing to be gained by thinking otherwise and everything to be gained by approaching the world and our lives from this perspective.

May you be well and happy, Oriah

P.S. My apologies if you receive this more than once. Blame it on my computer incompetence and not on any desire to annoy you. O

Monday Monday

Theodore Roosevelt:
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

WAY to deep for a Monday morning!!! Came across it and thought it was a great quote.

Music these days mystifies me.....I use to be a strictly Top 40 lover but my music tastes have matured and to be quite honest I like pretty much everything. I can thank my dad for that - as he often says, "this is my favorite song" to pretty much every song.

What am I listening to on my i-pod????

-Whatever you Like - T.I.
-American Boy - Estelle (Feat. Kayne West)
-When I grow up - PCD
-Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf f. Lil' Wayne
-Disturbia - Rihanna
-All Fall down - One Republic
-Shattered - O.A.R.
-Just Dance - Lady Gaga
-Stupid - Girlicous
-Rainy Monday - Shiny Toy Guns
-Best I ever Had - State of Shock
-Shut up and Let me Go - The TingTings
-A.N.G.E.L - Natasha Bedingfield

Quit Complaining!!!

A Complaint Free World
(Article from Oprah.com)

Your health, career and relationships may cause you stress, but complaining about them won't improve your situation, says the Rev. Will Bowen, an expert on complaining. Dr. Oz talks with the Rev. Bowen, author of A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted, about how he got his Kansas City, Missouri, congregation to stop complaining—a mission that is now part of an international movement.

In July 2006, the Rev. Bowen asked his congregation to take part in a 21-day complaint-free challenge. He passed out purple bracelets and asked that every time they complained or pointed out someone else complaining, to switch the bracelet to their other wrist and start the 21-day challenge all over again. The Rev. Bowen says it was a difficult change for almost everyone. "I thought I was the most positive, upbeat person in world, and I broke three bracelets before I made it the 21 consecutive days," the Rev. Bowen says.

Now, more than two years later, the Rev. Bowen says he can't remember the last time he complained—and many of the 5.7 million other people who heard about the challenge and have gotten a bracelet are also living complaint-free. "The feedback people give is, by doing this, they literally become happier people," he says.

The Rev. Bowen shares his advice to help you become complaint-free:

* State facts instead of complaining. "It is all the difference between stating a fact and having this emotional energy tied up in it," he says. "This is all about moving beyond being a victim and being in control of your own life."

* Find the positive in all situations. "Yesterday, when [the airline] discovered a maintenance issue on the plane [I was on], people were complaining, and I said, 'I'm glad they found it on the ground as a opposed [to] in the air!'" the Rev. Bowen says.

* Change the words you use. Instead of using the word "problem," call something an "opportunity" or "challenge," he says. When you find yourself saying, "I have to," say "I get to" instead.

* Go ahead and gossip. "I say that it is okay to gossip," the Rev. Bowen says. "I really believe it is perfectly fine to gossip—if what you would say you would say if the person were present with the same inflection and same words."

Move closer and closer apart....

I understand this quote better than most people should. During the busy times Kevin and I are lucky to see each other for 5 minutes a day - yes we normally talk on the phone and know what's going on with each other but we don't get to spend much or any time together.

In the words of A.D. Hope the Australian poet, 'move closer and closer apart.' I think in a general sense that is what marriage is about. The apartness is a part of the closeness, perhaps a recognition of it: certainly a pledge of complete understanding.

I don't want to live this way forever....but for now the $ is good and we accept the way things are and make due. Instead of hanging out all night and spending lot's of time together we take comfort in the 5 minutes of cuddling at 6am in the morning when Kevin is just getting home from work and I'm just getting up. Is it hard - yes. Will it be worth it - yes.

Here's my thought for the day...

Blame no one. Expect nothing. Do something.

I think too many people play the blame game. That is my biggest pet peeve - people who don't take accountability. Life is as simple as taking accountablity and accepting what is in front of you and doing something about it. It doesn't matter "whose fault it is". The people I admire the most are the ones who dive right in to any situation regardless of whether they are the ones that created it.

YAY for Friday! I love Fridays cause it's the start of the weekend. I have no plans except for trying out my new vacuum cleaner (I know I'm lame!), which is specially designed for pet hair - thank god for that cause my dog Dutchess loves to shed :) I have tons of cleaning to do, and some yard work and fixing up around the house as we are gearing to put our house up for sale.

Return from the negative....

Wow - just read my post from last night - I was in a BAD MOOD last night. Today I'm trying to transform that negative energy into postive energy.

We want life to be easy - no battles, no demons, no doubts.

We're in the wrong life if that's what we want. Hope I didn't burst your bubble. But as you probably figured out by now, the work never stops.

Life is about constant change and growth—ups and downs, pushing and pulling. And ultimately, transformations! Remember this thought: CHAOS CAN ALWAYS BE TURNED INTO BLESSINGS.

Besides, life is boring without the challenges. You've seen those emergency room scenes in the movies, or perhaps first hand. The doctors furiously working to save a guy's life and then, that dreaded sound: beeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Flat line. Game over. Death, the final frontier.

With that in mind, appreciate your obstacles today. Learn to see them for what they are: opportunities to elevate your mind, body and soul.

Who can You trust????

I had a bad day today - a really bad day....and for some reason I feel the need to talk about trust. Who can you truly trust?????? My answer - no one. I am at fault for trusting too much and trusting too deeply. I'm done.

Expecting too much of others will only limit and disappoint you. Instead expect more of yourself. I know that sounds pretty pessimistic but it's the truth...

Christmas in Mexico????

I spent a night at home with my husband last night - for the first in what feels like months. He suggested that we take a trip at Christmas to somewhere warm instead of doing the "traditional" thing. My first thought was NO WAY...this year we are supposed to be going to my parents place for Christmas (we go back and forth between our families each year) and I was really looking forward to it....but then I started thinking...what if???
-Christmas in a bikini soaking up the beautiful warm sun sipping a girlie drink on the beach instead of trudging through the cold snow. That thought in itself has me yearning for Christmas in Mexico. Not sure if it will end up happening, but the thought is nice nonetheless. Our honeymoon was in Winnipeg so I'm pretty sure we deserve to go somewhere nice and around Christmas is about the only time that it would really work for Kevin and his job. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Deep thought for the day: “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucius

I relate to this quote.....because I think life truely is simple but I make it damn complicated. I analyze and fret way to much about stuff that I have no control over.......so I am just going to try to "go with the flow" from now on...

Just Do it....

~He Who Jumps Into The Void, Owes No Explanation To Those Who Stand And Watch ~Jean Luc Godard



I'm feeling extremely inspired today. Not 100% sure why, but life lessons as of late have been just that....inspiring and motivating. I went for a run last night and I'm proud to say I can run about 5-7kms which may not seem that great.....but I have little to no pain in my knees during and after the run. Which to me is a MIRACLE. After my surgeries I literally thought I would never NOT know pain. This is very promising as I am gearing up for a triathlon in Clear Lake in August. I'm going to do the Sprint distance (750m Swim / 20k Bike / 5k Run) with my main goal to do an Ironman Triathlon in my lifetime! They haven't set the official date in August but I have 11 months to prepare and will likely start heavy training 6 months out....for me I don't want my fitness to be about losing weight or looking good (although it often is :) I want it to also be about being in great physical shape. Doing the triathlon and training for it will definitely help me to get there!

Another thought of the day.....why do we always hurt the ones we love the most. Is it because we know that it won't have the repercussions it would with someone you don't know as well ?? As much as this bugs me - it's life and will never change. I try to be conscious of this fact but I am still very guilty for doing it. I guess when you know the right buttons to push you do so willingly for whatever the motivation. I often think that many people are hurting and they want someone else to hurt like they are....I could write forever on this topic but should move along for fear of realizing how much I probably do this myself.

Where do the years go?? It seems that each year goes by faster then the previous...I am reminded of this as it is my baby sister's 23rd Birthday. Happy Birthday Tammy. It makes me both happy and sad that it's her birthday. Sad that we can't go back to the days gone past. I've spent many many hours with my sis - having moved so much she was one of the only constants in my life. I sure do miss the days of living in the same house as her.

Happy because she has grown into such a beautiful caring soul. Her strength and heart amaze me daily and I have learned so much from her (although I probably won't admit it outright :) It's her champagne birthday (turning 23 on the 23rd) and she will be celebrating in the states....oh how I wish I didn't have to work!

That's it for now....off to the gym to make myself sore....oh how I love the day after the day after ;)

The Start of a New Season

I love fall.

I love the colour of the changing leaves and I love the weather as it turns a bit cooler...for me that means wrapping myself in comfy sweaters!

Fall symbolizes a new season and change ahead. It happens every year around this time. People are getting ready for the long winter ahead. Everyone's internal clocks begin to reset to more darkness and more time indoors. This is the part I dislike about fall/winter. Thankfully I have tons of workout equipment at home and a membership to a great gym.

This weekend was a quiet peaceful one. I spent most of it alone (as per usual lately) or I should say alone but with my faithful sidekick Dutchess. We took a trip out to Cypress Hills West block and had a great time hiking the High-Vista & TCT trail. We only went probably 7kms but 2.5 of that was straight up....the going up was ok but the going down....well let's just say my quads were killing me.

Here are some photos from our adventure...

I also LOVE Mondays. WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY ?? It's true. Monday is back to work and back to a routine....for me that means making sure that I get to the gym and eating healthy. It also means not being so freakin lonely cause I'm at work for most of the day. Kevin has been working like crazy and although I love that he is raking in the $ it's extremely tough sometimes....we are like ships passing in the wind right now. I often wonder - how long is it going to be like this?????

World's Smartest Dog...

This post is for anyone whose life has been touched by the bond of a dog......I never understood this bond until I met my dog Dutchess. She is no where near as smart as the dog in this video but she amazes me daily by how smart she is and by her beautiful spirit. The first picture is from when I adopted her from the SPCA and the second picture is 6 or 7 months later... BIG difference!

One of my favorite quotes:

"If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man."- Mark Twain

Check out the amazing Skidboot:
http://videos.komando.com/2008/08/02/world%e2%80%99s-smartest-dog/