Resolutions and Goals for 2009

*Run the Clearlake Triathalon in August. Sprint Triathlon 750m Swim / 20k Bike / 5k Run

*Read a book a month.

*Be mindful. LIVE each day.

*Camping trip at least 1x this summer.

*Make one new friend.

I may add to this list......

2009

A rather different approach to planning for 2009

As I plan for 2009 and reflect on all that happened in 2008, I realize that there are several things I was tolerating in 2008 which will not be a part of my 2009.

You may choose to call this "adhering to boundaries" or "acknowledging and eliminating pet peeves", I simply refer to it as clearing space.

After all, if my energy isn't being drained by the things which take, rather than nourish, there's more space for those things which I want to attract.

Here's a partial list of those things (and people) which (who) won't be coming with me into the New Year (warning, this isn't for the faint-hearted):

*Companies who don't know the meaning of customer service or who retain employees who don't believe in it (I'm boycotting).

*Negative Nellies (I wish them well and would gleefully welcome them back into my life if they could display some optimism).

*Worry & Stress. Although I know that to some degree a small bit of each are normal and healthy, I often let my emotions get the best of me...so 2009 will be the year I try to calm, relax and think with a clear head at least 90% of the time :)

This is about respecting my time, energy and "self" -- after all, those things we tolerate have a way of taking over and affecting our creativity, ability to manifest and general well-being. And my family, friends, and people I work with, deserve the best me I can give them.

Please leave me a comment and let me know what you were tolerating in 2008 and how your 2009 will be different -- And remember, YOU control your environment -- no one else.

Two Kinds of People.

Those who are Lifters

There are two kinds of people on earth today;
Just two kinds of people, no more, I say.

Not the sinner and saint, for it's well understood,
That the good are half-bad and the bad half-good.

Not the rich and the poor, for to rate a man's wealth,
You must first know the state of his conscience and health.

Not the humble and proud, for in life's little span,
Who puts on vain airs, is not counted a man.

Not that happy and sad, for the swift flying years
Bring each man his laughter and each man his tears.

No; the two kinds of people on earth I mean,
Are the people who lift, and the people who lean.

Wherever you go, you will find in earth's masses,
Are always divided in just these two classes.

And oddly enough, you will find too, I ween,
There's only one lifter to twenty who lean.

In which class are you? Are you easing the load,
Of overtaxed lifters, who toil down the road?
Or are you a leaner, who lets others share
Your portion of labor, and worry and care?

What do you really Need????

I have been slightly depressed but mostly angry at how commercial and materialistic Christmas has become. OK, who am I kidding it has been this way for all of my life! It hit me hard this year though, as I was wondering aimlessly through the mall trying to purchase gifts for my family. Most people I know have everything they "need" and most of the things they "want". Yes I love giving gifts to people, but I often feel like I'm just buying people one more thing that will sit on a shelf to collect dust.

I think with the economy on the downturn and many people facing financial problems due to too much debt etc., pretty soon people have got to realize that they need to change and deal with the reality of what really matters.

Along with that I think people need to face the spiritual crisis of figuring out who they are and who they choose to be. Our spending and greed for material things that we think will define us really should be put in check. We have a wake-up opportunity to get real and be real with each other by finding ways to show love, give love, be love without spending a lot of money! It's a chance for us to look beneath the surface, into the culture of excessive more, more, more.

We need to shift the way we think about our lives. We may need to search deeply to recognize what matters. Think about it - what would it take to make YOU happy??? Most people don't know what to say...they forge an answer about family and friends, and yet their lives are about everything else.

Everything in life has meaning. The bigger the fall the greater the lesson. Think deeply today - what is the most important thing to you and how can you make changes to put your priorites in check????

Another Friday!

Today is Friday, and the end of another work week for me. It got me to thinking about how many people in the world, just live each day thinking or dreaming of another....waiting, hoping, wishing to be somewhere else, or just dredging through there day not really listening or hearing or thinking about anything.

I know myself I have been stuck in this rut many times before of just getting by. Just passing time. Personally I feel this is no way to live life. Life is meant to be enjoyed and every moment, every connection, every feeling cherished and felt.

I am guilty of often trying to turn myself off and to go through my day numb - because I am an extremely emotionally charged person. Someone who feels happiness to the greatest magnitude out of a tiny gesture. Someone who feels love all encompassing from a hug or a smile or a message of a loved one. I think to truly live - you must have and feel all emotion - happiness, sadness, love etc. But sometimes I find my emotional being to be too much. I love hard but I hurt hard. I can go from truly happy to truly hateful in 5 seconds. Sometimes at the end of the day - I lay in bed feeling like I have run a marathon and have nothing left. Absolutely exhausted and drained because of all that I feel and think.

I wish I could find balance within myself - but would that be changing who I am???? Maybe I am the lucky one, the person who feels so much.....I know a lot of people who just don't have that, or have it but in a negative way. I know the answer to all this is loving myself and feeling balance within, because then I would be able to experience and feel all that I need to without having the emotional drain that it causes me now.

But that leads into another question. How do you find balance within? How do you love yourself? This is something I struggle with....and it partly has to do with body issues I have had since I was very young. I'm working on it - and although it's still a work in progress, I am much closer to being able to completely love myself.....

And isn't that the ultimate goal, to love yourself and spread love and kindness to others....that is beyond everything else the way that I want to approach each day.

Sooo my new personal mantra:

Live with Passion
Love Deeply
Laugh Often

Marley & Me

I just wanted to take a second to review the book Marley & Me. I read it this week and have about 2 chapters left. I couldn't bring myself to read the last chapters last night before I went to bed, because ultimately I know how it ends and I didn't want to cry myself to sleep :)

Perhaps it is because I am recently married and we have a year old labrador retriever that I enjoyed John Grogan’s story of life and love. Grogan takes you through the first fifteen years of his marriage by focusing on the events of their yellow lab, Marley. Overall, the story of the “world’s worst dog” was very enjoyable.

I wonder whether or not you need to be a dog lover to enjoy the book. I hesitate to say no, because it has a similar feel to Old Yeller or any other story focused around a dog.

The book caused me to laugh several times, and brought me to tears a couple of times and I know that the ending will for sure.

I'm excited to see the movie out this christmas....Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston -it looks like a good family movie.

I only hope that I get to enjoy 13+ years with my Lab - Dutchess.

Energy Vampires...

Ahhhhh the Engery Vampire....we all know one. And at this time of year, when people are stressed to the max and lacking energy as it is...well it's good to think about where you are spending your energy.

(Ok this is Edward from Twilight - who is definately not an "energy vampire" but super hot.

Some people bring unexpected lightness and comfort to your life. They crackle with energy, practically electrify you with their presence. And then there are those who leave you feeling stressed out. Or guilty. Or exhausted down to your very last molecule. I call them energy vampires, and obnoxious or meek, they come in all forms. The sob sister, for one, always considers herself the victim. The world is always against her, and she'll recount every horrible thing that has happened to her, wallowing in every perceived slight. The charmer is a constant talker or joke-teller who has to be the center of attention. The blamer, on the other hand, doles out endless servings of guilt. And then there's the drama queen, the co-worker who claims she almost died from a high fever or the neighbor who lives in extremes of emotion—life is unbelievably good or horrifically bad.

No matter which type of energy vampire you're dealing with, you're allowed to walk away. Many of us find this really hard to do. We're afraid of being thought of as impolite; we don't want to offend people. But there are plenty of ways to remove yourself from a killing conversation. When leaving isn't an option, you can still maintain your energy level by making a few minor adjustments.

Recognize the Signs

One of the first things to do is to recognize when you're being drained, and that begins with tuning in to your physical reactions. Is there a tightening in your chest when a certain person enters the conversation? Do you feel tired when you hang up the phone after speaking with someone? Does your head ache, or do you feel what I call "slimed" when another guest at a cocktail party starts talking to you?

Take a Deep Breath

The moment you feel zapped—or hemmed in, or stressed out—I recommend taking a breath. Breathing is a wonderful way to center yourself. Just follow the breath and tell yourself that you know what's happening and you can deal with it. It's important to remember our individual power. I know from working with patients that we can lose it easily. The minute somebody comes in who's bossy or blaming, we feel diminished and tense up. If we can focus on the breath, or on an image of a striking sunset or a view from a mountaintop, the tension will drift away.

Use Your Energy

You can also use some of your own subtle energy to counter the effects of an energy vampire. Visualize a protective white light around you: an energy shield. You can still hear the person who's yelling at you or blaming you or pushing herself into your sphere, but she won't cut into you so viscerally anymore. You've created a buffer zone, where her negative influences can dissipate.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is another way of protecting yourself; you draw a line saying, for instance, "This is what I can do for you, and this is what I can't." You don't have to convince the vampire of the rightness of your stance. Getting defensive simply adds to the negative charge of the encounter. You want to remain neutral. When someone starts pushing your buttons, and you start sizzling inside, you've got to make the decision not to react.

Step Back

I also suggest you step back and think about what type of people aggravate you, because I believe that one law of energy is that we attract what we haven't yet worked out in ourselves. If I'm a very angry person, I'll find myself surrounded by angry people. By paying attention to the people who seem so draining, you might discover something you need to address. It has been my experience that once you've worked through a particular issue, you're no longer worn out by that kind of energy vampire. And the vampires, robbed of a source, move on to more easily drainable audiences.