I'm in an amazing mood right now and I wanted to write it down and capture it.
I have been really struggling with life lately, holding onto anger, resentment, heartache, jealousy.... and I decided today to let go of the past and my mistakes and focus on my bright future. It was an cleansing process, I wrote down a letter of exactly how I feel, why, all my emotions and then I burnt it and read and re-read this poem:
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off...
It's the realization that I can't control another...
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
I have a blessed and amazing life, but I wasn't living it. I was focusing on the past and not living in the moment. And I now feel so light and so lifted from that terrible place that I had put myself in.
The strange crazy thing about today is the only person who would truly understand all this and truly get what I'm going through - but is thousands of miles away and who I cannot reach, called me. My damn cell service often doesn't work at work so I missed the call but just hearing the voice of a loved one and someone who gets me more than anyone made it all OK and solidified how I was feeling. I think this was the universe telling me...."your on the right track".
Life is short and so precious - live it...
And the phrase that I will be telling myself over and over these next few days:
I will love myself. I will learn from the past and not make the same mistakes. I will move forward, respect the past but not dwell on it. I will focus on the future and being present in the moment. I will fear less and love more.
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